Castle, Beckett, and another man
by iwantobemorethanwhoiam
Summary: "Castle, it's late and I'm not doing this with you right now." Rated M only for profanity. NOT A THREESOME.


It's been 6 months. 6 painfully long months without her and he knows it's his fault. With two failed marriages under his belt he should've known ultimatums never end well. He never should've made her choose between him and DC.

She wanted to choose him, she loves him with everything she has but on the other hand she knew if she turned down DC that she would resent him for it and eventually that would get the best of them.

He knows now that somehow, someway, they could've made it work. They'd done it when he dug into her mother's case, again when he didn't call after that summer in the Hamptons, then again after her shooting. They were stronger than this so why did he make a life changing decision when he was just so mad at her? Why didn't he see this before? He found himself begging Lanie to tell him Beckett's new address and after a few days of pleading with her, she finally gave it to him and he got on the first plane out.

It had been a dreadfully long day of training and field tests so when one of her new colleagues, who wasn't so bad on the eyes, invited her to go out for drinks with him and a few others after work, how could she refuse? But Castle was there, in the back of her mind, like he always was. How could she still be so in love with a man who had made her choose between her dream job and him? She decided tonight was the night. Tonight was the night she would stop dwelling on him and what could've been and start moving forward. Moving on from the man she had been in love with for a year, probably closer to 3 if she was completely honest with herself.

It was late when her got to her townhouse, probably too late to be there but he knew he would lose the courage if he waited until morning. After taking a deep breath at the end of her driveway, he walked up to her door and knocked. He turned around, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He waited for a minute before knocking again, maybe she was in a room farther from the door and didn't hear the first time. Right as his hand was about to hit the door, it opened. God she's gorgeous. Even in her bed ruffled hair and smeared makeup and robe. "Hi." The instant it came out, he thought how pathetic it was.

Beckett tightened her robe around her before crossing her arms. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry….for everything I put you through. I was stupid and I had no right to make you choose."

"Castle, it's late and I'm not doing this with you right now." She tried closing the door but he put a hand out to stop it.

"Just listen to me." He took a few steps in. "I love you, I've always loved you and I thought…you never even told me about the interview, so I was mad about that and I let that one thing, one stupid fight, decide our whole future and I am so sorry." He noticed the tears that were starting to gather in her eyes as he took a few more steps toward her.

Right as he was about to put his hand on her arm, "Beckett? Is everything okay?"

He looked past her to the man that was emerging from her bedroom wearing only her other robe that was barely halfway down his thigh. Castle dropped his arm and looked down, taking a deep breath.

"Castle, just let me-"

He looked back up at her a smile on his face, trying to hide his humiliation. "No, I, I should never have come here. I'm sorry for everything." And with that, he walked out her front door and one single tear rolled down her cheek. If she knew he would come back, even if she thought there was the slightest chance, she never would've even considered sleeping with another man.

"Who was that?"

She wiped the tear away before turning back to him. "You should go."

"Kate, is everything okay?"

"Please leave."

After getting his clothes back on he left. Beckett sat down on her couch, leaned forward, and rubbed her hands down her thighs to her knees. It was just her luck that the one night, the one single night she tried to start moving on, he showed up at her door. After an hour that felt more like a minute, she went to her phone that was sitting on the kitchen table, sat down and dialed his number. It went straight to voicemail, 4 times. She knew he was just ignoring her calls so she tried one more time.

"Beckett you don't need to explain anything to me."

"We need to talk."

"No we don't. You don't need to apologize."

"Castle, please…I have the day off tomorrow. Can you come back? We can't leave it like this again."

After a few seconds of thinking about it, "Fine." He hung up.

The next morning.

She had been up a couple hours when she heard a knock at her door. Knowing it was Castle, she had to mentally prepare herself for what might happen. Once to the door, she put her hand on the handle and took a deep breath before opening it. "Hey." She moved to the side as a silent invitation for him to come in.

He took a few steps in then turned back to her. "Nice place."

"Yeah, I like it." She looked around a bit then back at him. "What something to drink or…"

"I'm fine."

Seeing the pain in his eyes, how hurt he was, she couldn't take it anymore. "I'm sorry about last night but you couldn't expect me to just stay celibate for the rest of my life."

"No but I didn't expect you to move on this fast." He turned away from her and took another few steps.

She took a step toward him. "Castle, it was one night. I haven't moved on. I've tried, god I've tried, so I thought if I slept with someone else, it would make me forget you but…it didn't….just made me miss you more, want you more."

He turned back to her, anger evident on his face. "You're the one who left me remember?!"

"You made me choose between this job and you! How the hell did you think it would go?"

"It's always been the job. You've always chosen the job over everything else and I thought I was different, that we were different!" This is not how he thought this would go. He didn't know he had so much built up anger towards her until he saw her last night.

"Castle, I wanted you, I wanted a future with you but I would've turned this job down for you," he opened his mouth to say something but Beckett put her hand up, "let me finish. That would've been okay because I love you." She said it so fast, he couldn't tell if she said "love or "loved." "But I would've, eventually, resented you for holding me back." In that moment he got it and she was right. "This job is everything I wanted."

He saw the tears in her eyes as she struggled to hold them back. "I know." There was an awkward silence as they both waited for the other to say something. Castle was the one who finally broke the silence. "We fucked this up."

As a tear rolled down her cheek, she laughed a little. "Yeah we did."


End file.
